Thursday, November 29

letting go

Lately I've come to realize that I'm not perfect.
Shocker, right?
But in all seriousness, I'm so far from "perfect" and so is my life.
And when I say that my life is not perfect, please don't think that I'm wishing for something that I don't have or that I don't love my life more than, well, life itself.

As I'm getting older, I'm becoming more and more comfortable with actually embracing myself and my so called "downfalls".
I don't look perfectly cute all of the time.
I'm the mom of two littles who works like crazy and sometimes (okay a lot of the time) I would rather sleep an extra 30 minutes than do my hair.
That 30 minutes is just so precious sometimes, especially when I haven't gotten a "full" night's sleep in almost two years.

My home is not perfectly decorated or perfectly cleaned.
But it's perfectly us.
We spend almost all of our free time at home.
This means dirty dishes and laundry and toys strewn about and piles of books everywhere.
Sometimes it drives me crazy.
Sometimes I want that "perfect" designer home.
Maybe one day I will have it.
But for now, I'm accepting that it's just not 'us'.
Don't even get me started on the state of my car.

My kids.
They are perfect, to me.
Do they act perfect all of the time?
Absolutely not.
Do they drive me bonkers sometimes?
Absolutely yes.
Do I love them 100%, through and though?
Without a doubt.
They are perfectly themselves.
And they don't apologize for it.

I'm learning to let go.
To let go of this need I have for Audrey to be perfectly matched all of the time.
I realize now, that in pushing her to always dress in certain clothes, I'm stifling her creativity and individuality.
Who cares if she is mismatched?
Who cares if she wears her red, sparkly shoes to the playground?
As long as she's safe, weather appropriate and happy, nobody should.
And those that do care, need to find something more worthwhile to care about.

Letting my daughter jump in muddy rain puddles and seeing the elation on her face is more important than my need for her shoes to be clean.
Isn't that what my washer is for anyway?
This letting go thing is not something that I have down "perfectly" yet.
Nor will I ever, more than likely.
I often catch myself wanting or wishing that things were a certain way.
But then I realize that life is too short to not be perfectly content.
My kids are already growing up too fast.
At some point in time, I'm going to miss all of the craziness that comes with having two little kids.

I'm letting go of feelings of inadequacy. 
Even the moms that look like they have it all together, don't.
Everyone has certain things that they let slip.
Certain things they find more important than others.
For me, sanity and pure happiness are what's important in life.
Being a family unit is more important than constantly working.
Falling asleep at a decent time is more important than making sure my house is spotless.
Besides, it's just going to get torn apart again tomorrow.

I don't have it all together.
I won't even begin to pretend that I do.
But to me, that's one of the amazing things about life.
No matter how old you get, life is constantly teaching you new things.
For each stage of life, there is a new lesson.
This is my current one.
Let go.

 Sorry if this post seemed rambly or incohesive.
No matter what it looks like in print, it perfectly describes what I'm feeling right here and right now.

Also thanks to CaseyLeigh for writing the post that set mine into motion.

peace, love, and all things sparkly.

1 comment:

  1. This is such a great lesson to let sink in, isn't it? Life is truly too short to sweat the small stuff.

    Thanks for sharing this.


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