Tuesday, April 9

stop stressing!

As I'm sitting here typing this, it is 10pm on a Tuesday night and I am not so patiently waiting for a cake to cool.
That way I can demolish it, mix it with frosting, roll it into balls (let those chill), put sticks in the balls (that sounds WAY dirty in my head!), melt white chocolate chips, dip the prepared cake balls in the melted chocolate and put everything in the fridge.
Before I go to bed.

Tomorrow is my oldest baby's 7th birthday!
Let me tell you, it is very bittersweet to this mama.
I love that she's getting older and going through new fun (and interesting) stages,
but I also miss my baby Audrey, or my toddler Audrey.
Life is passing way too fast.

And one of the lessons I'm slowly, but surely getting rammed through my thick skull on this ever quickening journey called life, is that it's too short to stress over stupid things.
Like birthday parties.
Yes, I am that mom.
The one who deep down seems to think that my value as a parent lies in whether I can throw my children kick ass birthday parties.
I start thinking of themes MONTHS before the actual day.
I make Pinterest boards full of theme related ideas.
I dream and I plan and I dream some more.
Then time slowly (or quickly?) creeps forward and the "big day" is looming ahead of me.
I'm too busy and too tired to put forth the effort that the "gala" that took residence inside my head requires.
Also, I'm not made of money.

I always try to pull the parties off anyways.
I mean, it's for my kids right?
I'd do anything for them.
Anything to make them happy.
Except, deep down, I'm throwing the party for myself.
To prove to myself (and others) that I'm supermom.
And when people make comments about how much they liked this or that,
I shrug and act like it was nothing; it took no effort.
When really, what I ended up doing was not even a fraction of the lavish party in my head.
And I grumbled and complained (mainly internally) at least half of the time I was making the preparations.

In reality, my kids might have a fun time,
but they have a blast just hanging out with me and their dad at the park.
At almost 7 years old, Audrey rarely, if ever, talks about her past birthday parties.
And when she does, it not about the decor, or to thank me for all the planning that was involved.
Sometimes, okay MOST of the time, she doesn't even remember what we did for her last birthday
(or that it was too windy to even set out the cupcakes that took me several early morning hours to make).

I think I'm finally learning that, when it comes to my kids and their birthdays,
less really is more.
It's the fact that we're together, celebrating this amazing little life, that counts.
Honestly, it never turns out the way I want it to anyway.
And is it really worth the weeks of stress prior?
 Or my impatience with the kids because I'm already frustrated with planning a fantastic shindig to celebrate their life?
Seems a little backward, no?

So this year, we're going a bit simpler.
I even cancelled Audrey's "big" party to help with my stress levels.
And guess what?!
She's even more excited about our pared down plans.
Because, to her, big party or not, I'm still the best mom she's ever had. ;)

 Sidenote :: to keep my stress levels down even farther, I've decided not to add an photos to this post.
In a strange way, it's a bit liberating.

peace, love and all things sparkly.

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